How are you today?

Hi! How are you today? This has to be the number one question asked each day. We hear it everywhere, at the check out line of your local stores, when you order food at restaurants, just about anywhere you come in contact with people. This statement has turned into a statement of what I like to call artificial kindness. How many times have you walked by a stranger and asked, “How are you today?” in passing not really giving the other person time to respond?

“How are you today?” has turned into a nice way of saying I notice your presence and I am happy you are here, I am going to give you great customer service, a introduction to a question, statement or idea, or I am happy to have your business. Most people who ask you this question really don't want to hear how your really doing but would rather hear the response that most people give. These responses are “I am fine.”, “I am great!”, “Fantastic!”, “I am holding on.”, “I am getting by.”, “I am taking it one day at a time.”, “Good!”, or just answer the question with the same question “How are you today?”. Do you find yourself giving many of these same answers when someone asks you this question?

I really started paying attention to this common greeting when I just had a horrible experience the day before and it seemed like everywhere I went I was asked this question. I gave them some of the answers that I listed above and after doing so knew that it was not how I really felt and felt like I was lying to them. I realized that they did not want the real answer anyway and if they did, I did not know them well enough to feel comfortable to tell them how I was doing.

I have worked in fast food and greetings happen often, very often. I realized that I myself was using the same line with every customer that drove up to the window. I started to ask myself, “Did I really want to know how they where doing?”, and if I did would I really have time to move the cars and be able to give them the time, respect, that the answer truly deserves. It was at that moment that I started to change my greeting, unless they where a regular and had time to converse with them. The great thing about our regulars were that they felt we were a part of their lives and didn't mind telling us what was going on in their life. For some of our regulars we were the only people they would talk to all day, but for everyone else I started using “It is good to see you!”, “Welcome back”, or even just plain “HI!”. I felt by doing this it kept people from having to lie, figure out how to answer, or bring internal feeling of wishing they had someone to talk to that would listen and truly care.

Every once in a while “How are you doing today?”,is answered with a response that is not the typical response they where expecting to hear, or it is not the positive answer they were hoping for. It is at that moment that the person becomes quiet and for a brief moment crickets come out of nowhere, or you get the response “Oh, I am sorry to hear that!” and I believe that response is genuine.

Like the famous quote, “Say what you mean, mean what you say!” If you don't really want to know how the people you come in contact are doing DO NOT ASK. If you truly care about those around you and really want to know how they are doing then ask, but be sincere and ready to respond in a way that will be uplifting, helpful, and inspiring. In some situations a “I will pray for you.” response may be given and if you say that make sure you do just that PRAY FOR THEM! I recommend if it is possible offer to take a moment together and pray about the situation. When it comes to solutions to problems or situations prayer is always the answer. God likes to hear from you and he is the answer to every problem you have or will have.

So in closing I ask you...”How are you today?”

J. Michalak